The "S" Word

Sometimes the ladies at my church joke about the "S" word. The "S" word we are joking about is not that "S" word. The word is submission. We joke this way, not because we think submission is a dirty word, but because we know so many other people in the world see it that way. Submission is not something only women are called to do, however. Submission is the duty of all those under authority, which means submission is a duty for all of us.

Before talking about what submission is, I want to mention a few things submission is not. Submission is not sycophantic boot-licking. It is not tolerating tyranny, oppression, or abuse. It is not about biting your tongue and keeping all opinions to yourself. It is not about ignoring your own needs while serving every need and desire of another. It is not about letting another person control every aspect of your life and every minute of your time. It is not about letting your God-given rights be trampled by unlawful authority. It is not about women being in subjection to men.

Submission is just one part of the total picture of lawful authority that is shown to us in the Scriptures.

There are many other aspects of the biblical view of authority that could be discussed, such as Christ ruling over all rulers, the source of human authority, the scope and limits of human authority, or the separate spheres of authority. Before we look more closely at what submission is, however, I want to briefly touch on just one other part of the total picture of authority: leadership, because godly submission is meant to exist within a context of and in order to facilitate godly leadership.

Christ Himself is the model of leadership which human rulers ought to emulate. Husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Just how did Christ love the church? He suffered for her and laid down His life for her. The needs of the church took priority over His own needs. The biblical model of leadership is one of servant leadership. That is, the leader serves the ones he leads, rather than the other way around. That is why here in the once biblically-informed USA, we call our elected leaders, "public servants." The term has survived, but it is not always clear that the concept has done so.

Leaders are overseers. They provide oversight for the God-ordained purposes of each of the governments. The family is to provide for the physical, spiritual, and safety needs of its members. This includes food and clothing and shelter, religious instruction and devotion, education, discipline, and safety from danger or evil doers. The Church is to provide corporate worship, including the Word and the Sacraments, and discipline. The civil government provides protection from evildoers and justice (which is qualitatively different from discipline). In all of these spheres of authority leaders oversee these functions, but not necessarily do them themselves. They are responsible for seeing that it is done.

So how would it go if someone was the leader of, say a family, and no one acknowledged his authority, or no one let him make any decisions? How could he possibly be responsible for seeing that the necessary functions happened? My point is this: A leader cannot possibly serve as a leader unless he has one necessary tool: the respect of those he serves. I am not talking about a general respect for his person here. (That’s good, too!) I am talking about a respect for his position and his authority. This is why husbands vow, in a traditional marriage ceremony to provide for and cherish (that is, love and put her needs above my own) their wives, and women vow to respect and obey their husbands. These are the tools that make the family economy work. They are also the tools that make leadership in the church and the civil spheres work.

So what does biblical submission to authority look like? First, a submissive person is actively involved in helping to accomplish the mission of the group. A wife manages the home, helps discipline the children, and helps manage the resources of the family as part of the family team charged by God with the duty to fill the earth and subdue it. A church member actively joins in the labors of the congregation, contributes to its financial needs, and joins in the worship. A citizen pays taxes, votes, advises his or her elected leaders, and serves on juries and in the military.

Think of the quarterback who gives the team the next play, and the team says, "Okay, let's go!" Part of the active involvement in the group mission is an understanding and agreement to go forward with the game plan. What if the quarterback gave one play and some of the other team members decided they will do something different? The mission will be thwarted and the leadership pointless.

Secondly, a submissive person may be actively involved in the decision-making process. A man who doesn't listen to the counsel of a wise wife is a fool. (Likewise is the man who listens to the counsel of a foolish wife!) But when the final decision is made by the leader, the submissive person will own that decision as if it is his or her own, and do whatever can be done to help the plan move forward. As an example, a church is deciding whether to build a new Sunday School wing. One man is against the plan. He speaks at meetings against it, perhaps citing financial concerns or other things that could be done with the land. The vote is taken and the plan is approved. What does a submissive man do? He pitches in to help the project move forward, because it was "our" decision to build the new wing.

Third, a submissive person is content not to be in a leadership role. That is not to say that someone is not ever to seek a leadership role. What I mean is, when someone else is in charge of making a decision or a judgment, and I am not, I ought to accept that judgment without second-guessing my leaders or subjecting them to my judgment. Let’s say a church court has made a decision in a discipline case. Is it my role to reexamine the case, find out the details, and decide for myself if they did the right thing? Or is it my role to trust my leaders, and trust the process and appeal process that God has provided?

But what if a leader is wrong or doing the wrong thing? Here we need to carefully discern what sort of, "wrong thing" we are talking about. Are we talking about leading people into sin here? Certainly we are to follow no one into sin. Or are we talking about a decision that we consider to be ill-advised? I was once listening to Elisabeth Elliot’s radio program. She had received a letter from a woman asking if she had to submit to her husband when he was wrong. Mrs. Elliot read the letter, let out a deep sigh and said something like, "Dear, you only have to submit when you think he's wrong. Otherwise no submission is needed, you're just doing what you both want to do." Oh yeah. Duh. Now I get it.

Sometimes, though, leaders are wrong by failing to meet their responsibilities, (such as a man who does not see that his family is provided for), or even causing harm to those they are to lead by abuse, neglect, or failing to respect their God-given rights and liberties. Sometimes leaders attempt to exert control or authority that God has not given them. (Do any government agencies come to mind?) And let's face it, some people are just plain mean. But in a biblically-based system of authority for family, church and civil governments, there is always recourse for those who find themselves in these situations. It is not a failure to exercise proper submission for the abused wife to call in the law, for example. Nor is it sin to petition the courts for relief when one’s rights are not being protected.

All in all, a submissive attitude toward authority is a matter of trust. We must trust that Christ, who rules over all, will bless us we respect Him, by respecting those He has placed over us.

Comments

[Rodney Olsen]

Well said. Thanks for a great post. Obviously a lot more could could come out of this subject but this is an excellent thought starter.

[TheBloke...IntheOuter]

Great post! This post is a springboard to a few of my own thoughts that I put up on my blog today. Thanks for sharing!

[Diane R]

Here is what I found after studying control and codependency for over 20 years. Churches and Christians often tend to think of submission as codependency and godly authority as control. However, this is 180 degrees from the truth. Frankly dysfunctional people CANNOT submit the Biblcial way; and controlling people certainly cannot lead the Biblical way. I do wish the church at large would get a hold of this fact.

[anselm]

Great post. I like that fire! It's ironic that strong woman can understand submission the best. My wife is a very strong woman and we're just figuring this thing out. In my fear to offend, I fail to lead. Makes for a lot of tap dancing, but we'll get there eventually. I'm visiting all of the new list of evangelicals, so here I am. Come check me out sometime.